So here i am, sitting in the waiting room of the medical clinic of the university i used to study at not more than 5 months ago. Now i dont go to university anymore.
Im a coke addict.
I have a degree in biomedical sciences. I finished first of my class, even though i added a fight against cancer (2 surgeries and radiotherapy) to my already crazy full-time student schedule. After that, i applied for med school, at only one university because it simply was the only one i wanted to study at, and got accepted right away.
Now, im driving myself psychotic, i have no money (result of spending 15000$ of med school loans on coke in only a couple of months), i lost my gf, my appartment, im living at a friends house where im not even aloud to bring my cat, i dont talk to my parents anymore, i havent seen any member of my family in forever and i have lost the trust of every single person i know. So, i get drunk every night to forget how much of a complete hell my life is right now.
Im a coke addict.
Now im sitting in the waiting room of a clinic to see the doc and ask for an increased dose of antidepressants, blood tests to figure out how fucked my thyroid homones levels are (yep, thyroid cancer) and then get them adjusted. Im also here to get stronger allergy pills to try and control at least a minimum these major rashes (see pic in other post) i get everyday, and to get a reference note to see an immune system/allergy specialist, because i guess this is where i am at now.
On top of all these conditions im sitting in this room right now to adress, i also have “Raynauld’s phenomenon”. Coke constrict blood vessels so when you do it all the time, some parts of your body, more sensitive to this constriction, are constantly irrigated by an insufficiant blood flow and start showing signs of this lack of blood. In my case, the skin of my feet and hands constantly alternate between 3 colors, white, red and blue. My feet, especially my toes, are shedding all their skin and i almost completely lost the nails of 8 of my toes because they dont receive enough blood to survive and keep growing. Finally, i completely lost sensation in my right big toe and the whole upper surface of my left foot. If i touch these two spots, i simply dont feel anything anymore. At all. Ah and, classic, i lost approximately 80% of my sense of smell. And im gonna save the details of my teeth, tongue and gum damages, of all these bruises i spontaneously get now and this unexplained loss of hair i experience, for another time, for another post.
Im 28.
Im a coke addict.
Recovery with a capital C 