You have done more than enough. I’m here for you now.

So today im gonna change my approach. I feel bad talking about it, writting about it, like putting it into words to post on a blog could change the importance of this resolution, turn it into a meaningless marketing move, to make myself believe, and the whole wide web believe, that im making a move now, that im making this one move that will turn this whole situation around and be my eureka moment. I always feel like putting into words an important plan, a deep and meaninful plan, erase all the spiritual side of it and all the truth from it, and turn it into a Hollywood movie script, just for people to watch and feel, removing all the importance from it, turning it into the fake thoughts and feelings of a movie character. But i guess im writing it anyways still.

My friend has issues. Not issues like mine, just issues like everybody’s got issues. His life is not going where he wants it to go and my down presence here, him taking care of me here, for two months now, makes it harder for him to follow his own goals and keep his focus on the things he wants for himself.

For 2 months now, his life is not the same, it is centered around a needing person and his amazingly caring nature makes it hard for him to put himself first when he needs it. Totally understandable.

Once, before i left for the last trip with my now ex-gf, i wasnt feeling well and spent the day out because i just needed to be alone, to remove my demanding down presence from other people’s life for a couple hours. My cell phone was dead, my friend knew it, but this didnt prevent everybody around to freak out about the fact i had not been responding to my text messages for many hours and nobody knew where i was.

So when i got home that night, i never imagined i would arrive into the headquarter of a “missing people” office, where my mom, my gf at the time, my best friend since highschool and this friend im living with now were all communicating by cell phone, looking for me everywhere around the city. My friend even left work early so he could go look around the city in hope to find me. This is the extent at which he has be caring for me since im here. So it is only understandable he needs me to be able to take care of him a bit now and bring also a positive difference in his life.

So i wanna change my approach now. I wanna stop fucusing my energies on not using drug and instead on making positive actions everyday. I want to provide myself and my friend with an overall more positive lifestyle. I wanna stop mainly focusing on myself and focus a lot more on him too. So ill stop depending on others and actually become a resourceful person too, able to bring help, positivity, able to simply bring something too to the people around me, to my friend.